Can Purell be used as lube?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
