I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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