Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
