Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
