Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
