Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
