Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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