it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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