guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize