I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
