just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
