Soap is not a condiment
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
