He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
