you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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