I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
