when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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