Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
