what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
