Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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