Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
