WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
