In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
