Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
how does that bad decision feel?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
