i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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