I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
