Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
