I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
