I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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