woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
