I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
