you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
