You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
