I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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