Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
