My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
