How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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