I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize