Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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