You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
