How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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