I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
