Non-Jews are for practice
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Everything about him screamed your future.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
