wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
