I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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