You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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