the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
