I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
