she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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