I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
