No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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