What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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