So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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