ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
