i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
