end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
