While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
