Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
