I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
