this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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