just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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