Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We need to rekindle our bromance
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
