I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize