Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
