My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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